Give and Take and Give...

I am still here in this cold dark cell. Every part of me aches. I am hungry and weak. My clothes have been hanging loosely on my body for months. I get one bowl of food and one cup of water everyday, and it is sapping my energy… it is not enough. The floor is cold, but in one corner of my cell it seems a little warmer, and it is here that I spend my days.

I am in a deep, dark mood. Since it is colder I know it is now winter and I yearn to be with my family. I find myself thinking of the sad Christmas my family will be having without me. My Son will be 5 years old for this Christmas season. It would be a good age to give him a red bicycle for Christmas. One like I had as a child. I smile at that thought and then I cry. Now my mood is darker than it was before. For the first few months that I was in this cell I devoted every minute to escape, but now that I am weaker, I know I can not escape, I don’t have the strength. I now sob.

I am becoming aware of a new noise now. At first I think it is a mouse, and that generates a sarcastic laugh… no mouse could get in here… and I can’t make it out. Soon I realize the noise is coming from above. In the small barred opening above, there is the flutter of wings and suddenly a dark plump berry falls on the floor near me. As I look at the berry I feel sad that the bird has dropped his dinner. I consider throwing it up to him, but my hunger wins out. The berry is sweet and full of flavor. It generates another laugh... and a smile.

The bird has been coming for days now. Sometimes he brings one berry and other days he brings more. This bird that I cannot see fascinates me. He doesn’t chirp or sing he just brings me berries. It may be my imagination but I think my strength is growing. I know my mood is better.

Tonight I am wide-awake. The bird is back and he is chirping wildly. This is new. He really seems frantic. He flies away. He is back now and he has dropped a berry to me. I grab for the berry in the dark and find a cold metal object. When I realize what it is I am happy and frightened at the same time. A key. The bird has dropped me a key. Still he continues to chirp wildly.

I decided that I have to try now… tonight. The key works. The door is open. I am out. There is only starlight and I am surprised how well I can see. The area is barren and I head for the nearby low ridge. I can see the flicker of a fire and shouting. I am thinking that is good cover for me as I slowly crawl away. I have a better angle now and I can see that there is a mud and wood hut on fire. I look closer and my captor is the one shouting. I also hear screaming and crying. It is his family. My captor is jumping and trying to get hold of a bar on a high window, like the one that was in my cell. In his hand he has a crowbar. I continue to crawl away. I am over the ridge and running now. Frantically. But I can’t get the screams and flames out of my head. I find myself running back. I know if I don’t try to help I will hear the screams and see the flames every night for the rest of my life.

I am face to face with my captor now. He looks at me strangely when I kneel down and motioned for him to get on my shoulders. Soon he is standing on my shoulders and prying at the bars. But I am too weak and we fall. Next I am on his shoulders and I am prying at the bars. As the last one comes loose we fall.

I feel the warm fire now. I ache in new places and my head is throbbing. I open my eyes and see the small boy that is jabbering excitedly. He is laughing now. I see my captor now. He is smiling. I smile back, but my smile fades. The laughter stops. I am led back to my cell. I am tired and I go willingly.

The day following the fire I began to get double the food and water. I also get a small hand full of berries everyday. I feel myself getting stronger. The bird comes everyday. My mood has brightened somewhat but I continue to miss my family. My thoughts have turned back to thoughts of escape. I am strong enough to run now. I try to convince myself it was right to come back and help on the night of the fire.

My door is open wide and my captor is there. It is twilight. He motions for me to come out. I am thinking of running when I notice his broad smile. He gives me a backpack and an old pair of running shoes. His wife and Son are watching me with big smiles. I can see that they are all noticeably thinner. It is then that I realize that they have given me their food and water all along. They have been giving me more this last month to help me become stronger. My captor places his hand on my shoulder and points to the low ridge. We begin to walk together. I turn and look back and I notice the boy feeding the bird a berry.

We walk through the night and at dawn we sit. He points to a saddle shaped mountain in the distance. I am to stay to the right side of that. He motions for me to sleep during the day and travel at night. I nod and we embrace. Soon he is gone. I am tired and sleep comes easily.

I have been walking for many nights now and I have passed to the right of the saddle shaped mountain. I am not sure which way to go now. I decide to rest the next night… to think.

The sun is up and the bird is here. He chirps and flutters 20 feet away. I walk towards him and he flutters away. This has been going on all night for two nights now. I awoke this morning to see a small airfield and a small village. I continue to walk in the early morning light. I am in full view of several people. The bird flies higher and lands on a perch on a small balcony. Suddenly I hear laughter and shouting. "Mom, Mom, the bird is back! I told you he would come back!"

That was Christmas Morning. It is New Years Day now. I am in a familiar spot now. I am in the cockpit of a small airplane. My boss is flying. We normally drop food out the door, into the war torn region below. We will do that again today. But, today is a special day. There will be an two additional packages. I push it out the door and watch the parachute blossom. I feel a new sense of warmth... and I laugh loudly... much louder than the engine... and then I push out more food.

I am back home now and I am watching my Son learn to ride his red bike. Life seems fuller now as I remember the events of this past year. I don't seem to need as many things as I used to need.

Later I am sitting on the balcony as the sun warms me and the bird sings. As I drift off to sleep I am smiling and happy. I am dreaming about the red bike and the other special gift I delivered today. It feels good to give back. I should give more...

May your cupboard have food... and may help find you when you need it. God Bless and Happy Thanksgiving...