A Gift

Every once in a while you get a gift and you don't recognize the greatness of that gift right away.  Later when you look back on it you realize what that gift really meant to you.

Last Thursday I recieved a gift and I went on with my life.

I was working on my hall table door pulls.  I made them out of very hard exotic wood... Bocote or Desert Ironwood.  I was sitting on an uncomfortable stool and bending over a work surface that was lower than me when my right hand started feeling heavy.  Soon my fingers on my right hand wouldn't do what I wanted them to do.  So I stood up and shook my hand to get the blood flowing or the pressure off of some hidden nerve that was holding up my progress.  Within 5 minutes all was back  to normal and I forgot about what happened... gift number one... Ignored.

Sunday morning was a lazy day,  We were watching Oak Hills Church 8:15 church service on the iPad... while laying comfortably in bed.

I had my glasses on and my pillow kept bumping them off my nose and I kept getting a little blurred line in the right periphery of my right eye.  It was distracting me from church as I played with it and tried to figure out how it moved. It was like a crystal wrinkle in crystal clear water, moving like squirmy worm.  I closed my eyes and it was still there.  I was just distracting.  When church was over I got up and for some reason I took my blood pressure... perfect... no problems.  It was time for my latte.

For the last few days my espresso was a little weak so it was time to clean my coffee bean grinder... always a messy job, but not hard.  SO... I was cleaning it up and my hand started feeling weak and I had trouble turning the screwdriver... Just like Thursday.  A light bulb started glowing in my mind but it wasn't very bright...  I put my screwdriver down and shook my hand and tried out my fingers.  Just like Thursday they wouldn't work very well.  I picked up my water glass and was able to hold it just fine.  I took a drink of ice cold water and the light bulb in my mind came on bright... there was no taste on the right side of my tongue... The bulb was a neon light flashing the word "STROKE!".

I headed upstairs to a mirror...  Looking at myself in the mirror I smiled... phew... a normal smile... not crooked.  Then I tried talking to myself... it was really hard to make my tongue form the words I wanted to say.  The light was brighter now.  I was having a stroke, I had checked off too many of those boxes in that list of stroke symptoms.

I sat down in a chair next to Martha and she was chatting away about what we were going to do today... I stayed silent... thinking... she stops talking and I say: "I think I'm having a stroke.  Would you call 911."  Martha's face became flushed and I felt really sad.

It was really hard to say those words... and I don't mean that because my tongue wasn't cooperating.

I shaved, got dressed and headed downstairs to unlock the front door.  I found myself sitting on the front steps when they drove up.  I think it took them 5 minutes to get there.

Martha brought me back inside and I sat in my recliner and answered the questions I have now heard a hundred times.  I have performed like a school kid eager to please my teacher on a regular basis now.  EMS and my Doctors require my daily performance.  I have performed well, as my symptoms only last for about 5 minutes.  Some of them occurred again on Monday.

I let the EMS guys go home and assured them I would go to the doctor.  I had trouble signing the form to release them... but they left.  Martha dropped me off at the ER and I walked in and said "I am having a stroke".  The guy behind the glass picked up a microphone as I was trying to hand him my insurance cards... he didn't want them.  He was announcing to the world "Stoke Alert, Stroke Alert". He ran around his desk area and put me in a wheel chair I didn't want and I was immediately in an exam room surrounded by serious people.

In the ER they tried to determine when my stroke started.  There is a medicine that they were thinking of giving me that dissolves blood clots and makes you normal again...But...BIG ... "BUT"...there is  12% chance it will kill you.  There is a 4 hour window for giving that medicine.  I began performing all the required tests flawlessly... think top of the class performances...  

My Dad started having TIA's (Trans eschemic attacks) when he was 52, I was reminding them.  He retired then.  A TIA is a mild stroke that you recover from within a certain period of time ...24 hours I think... i was recovering faster than that by far.  SO no meds.

Things were looking up in my book, but they were still serious.  It was soon my turn in the tube... MRI... they asked if I would have trouble in the tube...I asked how long will I be in the tube... about 30 minutes... I said I can do that... but I really wasn't sure...

They put me on a bed and whisked me off.  I passed several sedated people on beds in the hallway... Stroke Alert was the magic phrase... Front of the line for Joe Boy.

Were moving fast and I notice something in the hall... it's a shoe... a big womans shoe... a big cork heel on it ... I say shoe... shoe... SHOE... We hit the shoe going full blast.  I almost slide off of the bed as it comes to a screeching, bumpy halt as I was hanging on for dear life. We are stopped next to an unconcious lady who is missing one shoe.  My driver finds the shoe under a wheel and loosely puts it over her toes, and we are off again.  They are transfering me to a skinny little bed and getting ready for the insertion when I inform them I need to go, #1... they won't let me get up, but we comprimise and I am given privacy to do my job.

Soon I am in the tube... but i'm not really there... I'm at Lake Powell and the water is smooth and glassy.  I start out at Mile Buoy 94 and I am slicing thru the glassy water with ease... it's my secret weapon... my safe place.  Loud noises from the machine distract me from my journey and I am at buoy 69... my favorite beach.  Soon I am slid out of the tube and my driver is saying I'm glad you "went" before we put you in the tube, you were in there a long time.  My watch has been replaced by plastic bracelets so I have no idea how long and I ask... the answer is over 2 hours.

I was injected with contrast solution for a better view of my brain and everyone is impressed with how full my brain is... I could have told them that before the scan... I'm a jet pilot!  Martha is flush when I see her and I am informed that there are lots of tiny little clots in both sides of my brain.  Something not expected for someone as healthy as me.

I was given a TEE time... I'm thinking I need to cancel my golf tee time.  The TEE time they were talking about was a Trans Esophogeal Electrocardiogram... a sonogram of my heart taken from my esophogus... you want me to swallow what?!!  It was a breeze... faster than my last colonoscopy.  In secret I was looking forward to the margarita sedation they were giving me...

Awake from that I see Martha and she is flush again... uh oh...  They found a hole in my heart... they call it PFO.  Everyone has that hole when they are in the womb but it closes and seals up after you are born in 75% of the people.  Most people that have PFO don't know it, but I do because it let a bunch of tiny little clots to go straight up to my brain and turn that bright flashing stroke light on.

I now know it is a pretty easy fix to put a cork (so to speak) in that hole by using a blood vessel in my groin to reach my heart... I have bad thoughts about having a knife slicing me in my groin area... I'm thinking that the esophogus deal sounds better... just kidding.

So next week we will discuss when to do this proceedure.  Meanwhile I am on blood thinners until about 6 months after the proceedure.  My symptoms have disappeared and I am pretty much as normal as I usually am... ha... 

My second gift has been recieved greatfully.  A TIA is sometimes called a warning stroke.  I was sent a warning... and I understood it.  I was given another chance at a normal life.  There is a high chance of a major stroke within 48 hours after a TIA.

I am still in the hospital and on the stroke floor until my blood gets thinned out correctly.  Daily I walk the halls... I know I am blessed.  There is all kinds of equipment around for moving and helping people who can't help themselves.  I will go forward in life knowing more than ever that everyday, every touch, every look and every word is important and a blessing... I hope I never forget that.

Thank you Lord!

Lesson Learned:  Get dressed and go to church when you can !

And another bright spot... no... not the light bulb...

Since I know I have a hole in my heart I know I am Holier than Thou!!